Going Under
by PhantomsAngel
Summary: What if Erik didn't take Christine after Don Juan...because he didn't have to? rated pg-13 for use of morphine


A/N: FINALLY!!! Im baaaaack! Sorry I've been absent for awhile! I hope you like this everyone PLZ PLZ PLZ read and review; It helps so much. Thanks! Until I write again,

-PA

Disclaimer: "Going Under" belongs to Evanescence and the whole idea of sticking an Evanescence song to a phic was, I belive, x phantoms angel's.

(Now I will tell you what I've done for you   
  
50 thousand tears I've cried

Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you And you still won't hear me) 

It's a curiously simple thing really, the way my fingers blindly grasp an object I can't truly feel, the way my arm curls back and thrusts whatever my hand commanded straight into the wall. I never think about it; I'm blinded by a black rage that consumes my every being, and I have no control. Simple…usually.

But not this time. The secret door to my house under the Opera seemed to cower in fear when I approached it, and fumbled blindly for the stone that opens it. After a few infuriating tries, I finally burst into my house and let out an animal cry of pain, agony, rage…

(_Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself Maybe I'll wake up for once Not tormented...Daily defeated by you _

Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom)

Flying colors blurred my vision, everything I saw was tinted crimson. Crashes of all volumes filled my ears. I had a vague feeling I would regret what I was doing, but I thought nothing of it. I could only focus on one thing…

Christine…  
  
(_I'm dying again..._)  
  
How could she have done this to _me_? My angel! Little had she known, I had heard every word she had said to that insolent Chagny bastard on the roof of the Paris Opera. He told her they could run, run away from everything she knew: Paris, the Opera…me. Christine did not fight his words…she seemed somewhat comforted by them! The way she rested her pretty head in the crook of his neck made me want to wring it then and there…but they were both weeping, I noticed, crying for what they faced and what they would have to. And that kiss! The Chagny child took her lips like they were his forever! _That kiss_! _Why? _Why, God, did you choose me of all humanity to give the voice of an angel and a face of a demon? Why did you send me an angel whose voice melded perfectly with mine, whose slim form did the same when we embraced? Why do you taunt me with such pleasure but rip it from my grasp? More flashes of random color flew before my eyes, a painful reminder of my subjection to raw fury.

In an instant I was in my room, searching the drawers for a familiar yellow package that contained my only escape from my torment: morphine--

(_I'm going under… Drowning in you I'm falling forever I've got to break through I'm going under)_ Everything was black, swirling black and a sharp, unforgiving pain pounded at my temples. I remember thinking that my stomach had tied itself in knots and cut off the air to my lungs… (_I'm dying again_…) 

A faint yellow glow came through my eyelids, and I warily opened my eyes. I was drenched in sweat and the pounding in my head had not stopped. I didn't dare move.

Then, I had to blink twice at what I saw. I saw my angel standing there, dressed in white with a childish smile painting her face. Her long, brown hair framed her pretty face and the candlelight cast golden highlights on every strand. The last thing I saw before I lost consciousness again was my Christine's face turn from a warm smile to icy terror.  
  
(_So go on and scream_

Scream at me

I'm so far away

I won't be broken again I've got to breathe I can't keep going under) 

I finally awakened due to the cold cloth pressed upon my forehead. I didn't want to open my eyes, to return to cruel reality…but I did.

…which was a lucky thing, for there sat my Christine, whose face lit up with hope when she saw me acknowledge her.

"Erik…"

Her beautiful voice was calling me from the darkness that I had grown so accustomed to.

"…What have you done?"

She obviously knew about the morphine…I closed my eyes and tried not to think what could have happened to me had she not been here. I inclined my head in her direction, and I noticed I was in her room in my house.

"But, Christine," I tried to explain my actions, but I couldn't come up with a particular reason that I wanted to tell her.

"It's Raoul, isn't it?" she asked. "I had an idea you would have heard me. You are my angel, you are always with me, Erik. I know this."

"So…you--"

"—Obviously I was not going to leave with him, Erik…how could I possibly?" she lifted a slim hand to my cheek and rested it there. I managed a weak smile. But…that _kiss_! Christine must have picked up a visual change in my expression.

"Erik, I do love Raoul, you know."

I searched her eyes, looking for a shade of doubt somewhere. He words had hurt me more than she knew, and had I not been in pain, on this bed, I would have thrown something by now. I shut my eyes, absorbing what she had said. I reluctantly opened them and looked into Christine's sorrowful face…

"Oh, but I love you too, Erik! I love you too!" A ray of hope seemed to come through the storm. "You must understand, I love Raoul as I would a brother, and I know he loves me too…but I couldn't bear the thought of not being here, not hearing your voice ever again! At first, I admit…I was a little afraid of you…" Disbelief radiated from me. How could I have frightened her? "But now I see that I can't live without you…And, besides, where would you be if it weren't for me?" she asked nonchalantly, referring to the reason I was here.

(I'm going under…)

She smiled fervently and took my cold hand in hers, its warmth immediately searing my skin. "I came for you…I can't live without you."

(Drowning in you…)

She lowered her lips to mine, causing hot tears to soak my mask.

(I'm falling forever…)

I only wished I wasn't so weak at this moment…

(I've got to break through…)

My mother had never even kissed me! Pure joy coursed through me, I'm sure Christine felt me tremble…

"I _won't_ live without you." Her brown eyes told no lie, and I smiled.

"Neither will I," I said simply. "Neither will I."

(I'm going under!)

A/N: PLEASE read and review!! (By the way, chappie 11 to all I ask of you is on it's way!) thnx

-PhantomsAngel


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